How I may ends meet as a single parent

I love love talking about saving and simple living so thought I would share a post about how I make do as a single mother raising 2 boys. 

Furniture
When I separated from my kids ex. We did the usual thing and split what furniture who would be taking. I didn't have much money if any to spend so I had to get crafty and shop frugal to replace what I needed. I ended up getting a terrific preloved bunk bed from a secondhand store that sold ex-display home furniture (JJ cost savers in Fremantle).

I also took a peek at verge collection time and I have scored some cupboard shelves, outdoor cane setting and cane bedhead for free. And they all thankfully fit in the back of my car.

Schooling

*My ex and I go halves in our kids uniforms and stationery. I pay for out of school care and daycare expenses.
*For my eldest child. I kept his extra lead pencils and glue sticks home last 2 years and I didn't need to buy as much come this year.
*I ended up finding Dylan some mint condition school shorts for $2 each in the op shop.
*Our families bought Dylan a school bag, school library bag, school hat as part of his christmas gift over toys. And he was delighted.

Values

*Getting rid of unhealthy spending. I am resisting my urge to pop into op shops. Thats my vice. Im so lucky I am not frivolous by nature as I would be in struggle town right now.
*I avoid buying excess its so wasteful. I was so very tempted to buy some Peter Alexander pj's on sale just because to lift my spirits. But I realised it would be an emotional buy that would bring me joy for a few days then I would regret afterwards when I could of spent that money elsewhere. Yay to saving $55 (which I spent on 12 sessions of Dylan going to a play gym instead). When temptation arises I pin on Pinterest all my wants.

Groceries

*Growing what we can to reduce buying more. My boys and I have garden beds set up at my mums house (which my dad and her tend too. Score!!). I can't wait to harvest tomatoes, rockmelon, butternut squash, potato and zucchinis. 
*Buying the generic brands over the brand names. I compare the unit price per 100 grams. I have actually been trialling out some Aldi brands in the tin goods & the kids don't seem to notice.
*Meal planning with what I have in my freezer & pantry first. And taking note whats on special in the weekly catalogues.
*I try not to stockpile. Although when I saw a giant Kewpie mayonnaise for $4 each I bought 4. The same when I saw bamboo toothbrushes for $2.99 each (compared to $4.99 I usually buy them for), I bought 10. Buying things on sale if you don't need it is a waste & I always think of this before I buy sale items.
*I don't shy away from the markdown section.
*Embrace loyalty cards if you are a loyal shopper. I joined my local Brumbys loyalty program & I scored a free loaf & rolls the other day using my shopping credits.
*I have a weekly food budget of $100. I don't go over. I actually have a savvy frugal like-minded friend who we report what we spend to every week to keep myself in check (thank you Rach!!:))
*Making use of fruit on the way out or in abundance. Mangoes, apples & bannanas are fabulous in smoothies. I also like to bake apple & bananas into either pancakes or muffins.
*I make my own sushi, imitation subway meatball sub and imitation kfc twisters and they are amazing:). No need to splurge weekly on those takeouts, only once in a while for us.

Talking the financials over with my eldest child

After reading the "Barefoot investor. Families". I was inspired to talk money with my eldest hopefully instilling my frugalness into him.
*Talking with my 8 year old about what is essential to what is not. Needs vs wants. And being honest that we don't have the money to afford certain luxuries as I choose to feed them over his materialistic requests. He still whinges but not as much #winning.
*I only give Kobe $8 pocket money a month which he can spend on whatever. It use to be on Roblox app but since he got a year long ban (for bad behaviour). It goes on junk food or scooter related things. He has to save for what isn't a need. Dylan gets $4 which goes on hot chips (lol).
*Kobe & I did a chart from the week I took them out twice (in a moment of weakness) to Dome & also San Churros for treats. We estimated what we spent on both outings then times that by if we went every week (52 weeks in a year) to get how much we would spend. Then we went thru grocery catalogues & wrote down prices if we bought the ingredients. Then estimated how much cups/teaspoons were in each ingredient bought to break down how much it would cost if we made these treats at home (note: I did not take into account electricity or water usage). After that we added up how much we spent if we dined out for treats & compared to how much it is I we made them at home. And how much we could save. Why could we spend it on instead that would add more value (saving for Japan next year).


Dining out 

*I limit my social outings that I may be tempted to spend big. I do adore dinners out with friends. I just tone down the drinking out afterwards. Alcohol does add up. I have invested in the entertainment book (its so worth it!!). I went out with some of my mums group for dinner Friday night & it saved us $34 off the bill with the use of the entertainment card.
*I have been known to bring a container to take leftovers home too :)). Nothing better than having lunch sorted the next day.
*If I do a day catch up, I tend to go do coffee catch ups over brunch. 1 coffee + muffin = $10 compared to 1 brunch + coffee = $20 upwards... I do have a Dome & San Churros loyalty card too (on memory I think its the 10th coffee free).

Style

*I like fabulous clothes as much as the next fashionista although Im far from one lol. My wardrobe is 85% preloved. Any purchase I make I ask myself "Will I wear this 30 times?" If the answer is no, I leave it behind. Im glad I waited on impulse buying a check blazer as I found my dream blazer in Salvation Army for all of $2.
*Utilise "Facebook marketplace" and "Facebook buy nothing" pages. I manage to get a box of clothes for Dylan off there for free.
*At the start of every year, I write in the Bindaring Red Cross warehouse op shop sale in. I hit this up to add any lust  haves into my wardrobe. I got the most delicious green check pants (currently worn once weekly).
*Dylan lives in Kobes handmedowns.
*Kobe has been lucky to be given handmedowns from his mate Sol (I say my thanks with fresh mangoes from my mum's tree during mango season). I top up his wardrobe with op shop buys. Anglicare in Fremantle has a curated store of preloved brands. I have picked up a bunch of Adidas & Nike tops for him for $3-$6 & in mint condition.
*I also take a look when Salvation army has 5 for $5 kids clothing.

Gifts

*I have asked my ex to go halves in any gifts for any parties our kids are invited to.

Entertainment

*A friend of mine can get me discounted Hoyts tickets so I utilise them if I want to take my boys to the movies (we have only been twice in 6 months).
I also pack bulk snacks. Nothing taste sweeter than home-made popcorn that costs less than $1 to make.
*I organise free park/ scooter park playdates over paid playcentre dates if the weather is sunny.
*Last year I enrolled Dylan into a playgroup which costs $30 a term (roughly $3 a session).
*My ex neighbour Kym recommended a local toddler gym, & sessions are only $5. Bonus you are able to bring your own snacks as opposed to buying them from the usual overpriced in-house snack bar.
*Taking up a low cost hobby. I am adoring cross stitch at the moment. I have been furiously pinning ideas on Pinterest. I was so lucky to find a giant wad of cross stitch fabric at an op shop for an absolute bargain & it will get me thru many craft projects. For a house warming gift for a friend who has everything she is excited for me to sew a Zombie themed cross stitch for her gift. I am so close to finishing.
*Borrowing books from the library every week.

The main tip I can give is living below your budget/means. Going without if you can't afford something and always look for a cheaper alternative.

Love to hear how you keep costs down.
Happy Saturday friends!!

Single parenting 6 months on...

I started this new chapter of solo parenting about 6 months ago. I promised myself that I would be leaving a relationship that had run its course but I wouldn't be taking any bad memories just the good memories which were many. Im very grateful to Luke for the past 18 years and gifting me the best gift of all, our kids; Kobe and Dylan.
Back in October last year, after a week or so Luke and I started letting our friends and family know we were separated. It was the hardest decision, there was a lot of guilt about everyones expectations but ultimately we have one life to live and its may well be a happy one. I chose to let close friends and family know over text mostly (this was easier for me so I didnt have to face anyone face to face until I felt ready to talk about it). Some in person and the rest I let know over Instagram (so classy lol).
The boys will always be our number one concern. And both have thrived since the separation learning their own independence and also taking leaps and bounds academically. I was worried the opposite would happen but not at all. It definitely helps Luke and I are on talking terms and aren't slagging off the other one to our children.

I have bounced between many stages during this separation process

1. Shock; Is this really happening? Did I just give up on my relationship?
2. Guilt; I sat in this stage far too long I think and I still have flashes of guilt. Did I try hard enough to make things work? Did I let everyone down? There were definately many days where I really wanted to wallow in self pity and stay in bed all day long but I found the inner strength to get up thanks to my little cherubs telling me to "get up" lol. I chose being a present mother instead of a broken mother.
3. Acceptance; I am a single parent. I know my worth. I am strong enough to be the main carer for my children. Once this clicked. I wrote my "to do list of things I had to tie up" (like a shared parenting plan and house plans) and wrote future plans (moving house and study/work plans/therapy for Kobe etc).
4. Anger; This horrible feeling comes up fleetingly occasionally as I come to terms I chose the harder path on raising my kids as the primary carer. Mainly when the kids are sick and aren't sleeping or I think about starting again careerwise whilst Luke's career has gone strength to strength. Again this was the choice that we made and I will live with it. I don't ever want to be bitter, its such a wasted emotion (this really hit home after talking to a few separated parents and they were still bitter with their ex/circumstance many many years down the track?!?). I on the other hand am going to own my failures and grow from it. There were times I definitely vented to friends about how hard I was finding certain things but I tried not to linger on it too long. I don't want separation to define me.
5. Worry; I worry about the future, about making sure the boys don't go without but also grow up to be resilient happy children. As we come to the final stages of separation and tying up the financials it has been overwhelming but there is light at the end of the tunnel and I need to keep going.

Overall my wishes is that Luke and I will co-parent on friendly terms and the boys getting quality time with their dad and me embracing me time.

I will be sharing a blog post in future about where to go to for help when separating as it is a very overwhelming process. One thing I can't stress enough is to have a core group of support whether that be family, friends etc.

Happy Friday!!
Grace

Cross stitch

Well its been a few months and then some into this is single parenting I now call life and things are very quiet on this blog space while I took time to regroup and focus on getting the boys and I thru the separation as painlessly as possible. There are an overwhelming amount of things to sort when going thru a separation especially if you have assets and kids so I needed a mindfulness activity to take my mind off the stress of daily life. I hadn't done cross stitch in forever so I took that up again over the Christmas break. Im sharing some of my creations.

This Poop cross stitch has to be a favourite of my potty mouthed 7 year old. I bought the pattern off Etsy.

I recently found these two Bunnykins cross stitches I sewed back in my high school days stored in boxes of craft, I wish I had the bedtime one in the room when the boys were babies its so sweet. Im bringing these out as decorations every Easter.

Speaking of Easter I was sewing reusable Easter tags this year but decided the Yoshi one was better suited to a frame above Kobes bed instead.

And finally a nice little keepsake card for a friend who had a baby recently. Incase your wondering I used the leftover hessian from making my lounge covers to sew the pictures onto. Waste not want not.

Next up is a Super Mario themed pj bag for Kobe, a Gumby pj bag for Dylan and a zombie cross stitch for a friends house warming.

Love to hear what your doing for your mindful activity or creating? Comment below.

Happy Friday friends!!
Grace

Ideas on what to make with Christmas leftovers

Im heaving a collective sigh that Christmas is done and dusted for another year. Hooray!! Its such a busy time of year. We had Christmas lunch over 2 days with my family and I am stuffed. Now what to with all those leftovers...

Gingerbread can be rehashed into ice cream. Photo and recipe here. Or you can just put some ice cream into 2 gingerbread cookies like a sandwich lol.

Kobe got a candy cane off most kids for the end of year class gifts and my friend Michelle made some delicious chocolate peppermint bark using them. It has changed my life!! I even tried to make some twice myself. The first time I used condense milk and it didn't set properly but the next time it turned out great. Michelle made the ones pictured above using this recipe and recommends not to use the food colouring in this recipe as it can go gluggy.

My favourite recipe to use up leftover chicken (or even turkey) is Bang Bang chicken with a peanut sauce (I made the recipe and chucked in leftover shredded chicken at the end) , rice paper rolls or a banh-mi. My lovely friends Rach and Louie suggested quiches, topping on pizza, cheese and mayonnaise toast (I had this for breakfast), creamy pasta and in wraps which are all equally delicious.

Pork is a hard one for me to turn into something yummy. You can't go past a delicious fried rice or pork taco.

I would love to hear what your go to leftover recipes are? Please share in the comments below.

Happy Thursday friends!!
Grace

Things to make and gift this Christmas

If your like me and get the nervous sweats heading to the main shopping centres I have done a round up of things I am making at home this Christmas or have made previous Christmas's to gift.

*I had so much fun rediscovering cross-stitch (my new mindful activity) and sewing reusable stocking gift tags for the boys and family. We are loving the Grinch this year.

*Kobe and I made his class cards and gifts this year. This was a mammoth task and had to be done in a few stages; painting stencil onto cardboard (from cereal boxes etc), cutting up scraps of fabric and card then glueing it on, stamping brown paper bags and making chocolate crackle. Kobe whinged for tv the whole time... But was delighted once they were finished.

*Bird seed hangers. My neighbours and a couple mum friends at school and close friends are getting some bird seed feeders with an upcycled gift card (I cut up last years card to make a tiny gift card).

*DIY bon bons with activity sheet and homemade crown (or a crown saved from previous Christmas lol). This year we are using the wrappers from Who gives a crap toilet paper.

*Beeswax wraps. I went to a class earlier this year to learn how to make this. I did not realize how easy it was. All you need is scrap fabric (or christmas fabric would look amazing!!), grated beeswax, towel and iron. You place the grated beeswax over the fabric. Cover with the towel or tea towel and iron. Then it takes less then a couple minutes to dry. And goodbye gladwrap!!

*There are so many great options to make food to gift; preserved lemons, lemon curd, jam, cookies, cake, gingerbread cookies, chocolate crackles, rocky road, coconut roughs, the choice is endless. Just make sure of any allergies or dietary requirements first. Its no use giving someone on a diet a upcycled jar full of sugary treats.

*Clay ornaments. This was a messy exercise but Im happy with how they turned out.  All that is left for the kids is to paint them. There are also some dough recipes online but they will disintegrate over time. I used Crayola air dry clay.

*With the plastic bag ban in full swing and if you have basic sewing skills, make a boomerang cloth bag. You can never have enough reusable bags.

*Santa sacks. Grab some Christmas fabric and cut into shape of a pillowcase (leave around 3cm for stitch length) and sew. I made my boys a few to store grandparents gifts in.

Well I hope you got some handy ideas. I would love to hear what you are making and gifting this year.

Happy Tuesday friends:)

Grace

Denham; a tiny town with big values

I found the town I would happily move to. Denham was a last minute decision to go to after realising that Coral bay was too far to drive to within a week for a roadtrip with my sister and my kids.
It ticked so many boxes for me. Firstly it was quiet ✅ had calm ocean water ✅ beautiful shells to ogle ✅

There is a boomerang bag initiative to replace plastic bag usage ✅  boxes in the local IGA grocery shop to put groceries in if you forget your cloth bag ✅  a tiny selection of bulk snacks in the local IGA ✅

A “War on waste” op shop where locals and tourists can donate any good condition items with the proceeds going back into the community  ✅

Park benches made of upcycled plastic ✅

Gordon Peters park on the foreshore is giant wooden nautical themed playground the kids loved, the giant slide is super fast (I tore a hole in my jeans knees trying to slow myself lol).The pirate ship is made out of recycled jetty timber ✅

Denham (the town site) is has its own power supply and is powered by wind turbines and diesel generators. Remote properties utilise diesel and renewable energy and battery storage systems ✅.

The town is committed to reducing waste and packaging as currently there is no recycling facility (whatever packaging I acquired here I brought home to recycle), but future plans include a small "Recycling bring centre" where people can drop off sorted recyclable's into glass bottles, glass jars, rinsed plastic bottles (number 1 plastic), rinsed milk bottles (number 2 plastic), aluminium cans, clean cardboard, clean paper and clean newspaper. All of these will be baled and transported back to Perth to recycle✅.

For a small town there definitely lies a green heart in there.

Happy Sundays friends!
Grace

What I bought in May

Im definitely struggling with only "just" buying what we need...

Kobe has had a growth spurt so I bought some preloved school shorts and 2 new school tshirts (I could not find any size 10 shirts on the secondhand uniforms shop rack and not even the "Facebook uniform buy and sell" page). I also went to the annual massive Bindaring op shop sale and scored this haul plus the clothes above (mainly t-shirts, a dress and a pair of jeans and a top and shorts for Kobe), more preloved activity books (they were 5 for $1 and perfect for the 5 hour car rides with the boys on our recent roadtrip). There was only a couple that Kobe could do as the rest were too easy and Dylan is too small to write yet so I basically read them to Dylan like a storybook. Thankfully he loves any books with numbers or the alphabet (and can even count to 10 and knows the alphabet at 2 and a half years old:)). More preloved goodies include a Sooty DVD, fabric and a maths timetable chart (for Kobe).

What I bought new; Kobe's school uniform shirts, Peppermint sustainable magazine for me:), Dr Bronner's soap and lip balm, reusable yoghurt pouches (I miss yoghurt that I think I will attempt to make it), seeds, gloves and a "no junk sign" (for the mailbox).

Here's to more restraint next month #minimalistgoals.

Happy Sunday friends!
Grace